Relationship Counselling

Is your relationship in trouble? Do you wonder if you should split? Have you suffered enough? Do you want long-term solutions for emotional problems and difficult relationships?

We can help you clarifying your objectives and transforming your crisis or conflicts into closeness and developing a more intimate relationship . If you assume that you can get along without any professional help, you may end potentially wonderful relationships, or you may suffer for years without experiencing the lasting happiness.

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Feeling Stuck

Feeling Stuck in a dead-end relationship where cold war is frequent and the silent treatment just won’t work?

It is not realistic to have a relationship goal of never fight or argue. This is because when two unique individuals get closer in an intimate relationship, conflicts are unavoidable. Conflict usually comes from misunderstanding, and misunderstanding usually comes from differences. Conflicts thus happen even in the best of relationship. And habitual avoidance of conflicts is the #1 predictor of divorce. So the secret to love is NOT never fight, but know how to fight and be able to recover from a fight.

Stonewalling

Communication Problem

Dr John Gottman can listen to a couple for 5 minutes and determine, with 91% accuracy, whether they’ll divorce. How can he tell who will split up? There are a number of indicators but at the core of Gottman’s research are ” The Four Horsemen.” The four things that indicate a marriage is in trouble are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling.

Gottman 4 Horseman

Communication is key to a loving and intimate relationship. Working on your negative communication patterns early in the relationship, or as soon as you begin to sense trouble, may save you a substantial amount of heartache down the road.

Through guided in-session practice, you would become aware of the destructive interactional patterns in your relationship, and learn to break these patterns and begin to form new ways of communicating that is based on honesty, respect and true intimacy.

Sex and Intimacy

Dr Sue Johnson‘s research on bonding science discovers that:

  • Sex is a safe adventure
  • Sex is an emotional dance
  • Sex is a potent bonding activity

A good sex is where couples feel safe and have emotional connection with each other while making love. When the heart is open and when couples feel safe in sexuality, there are infinite number of discoveries that can go on.

Safety is a defining feature in women’s sexuality. Women needs to talk, check out the relationship before they can let themselves go and descend into arousal. Talking before sex is thus a key part of foreplay for women.

So when couples having trouble with safety, they do not have satisfying sex. Safe emotional engagement is the key ingredient in relationship that turns couple on in bed and out of bed.

A video on “The New Frontier of Sex & Intimacy” By Dr Sue Johnson

Counselling Approach 

Integrative Approach

We believe there is no one single approach that can treat a person in all situations because each person is unique and whole. We thus tailor our counselling approach to each individual’s needs and personal circumstances. Our approach helps our clients learnt more deeply about their personality system, deepen their awareness of their innermost motivation and belief system that drive their habitual thinking, feeling and behavioural patterns.

We are using an integrative approach by combining the most powerful and profound human psychology system such as the Enneagram,  a personality system  based on our neurobiology and evolution, with the most effective and cutting edge couple counselling technologies such as Emotionally Focused Couple Counselling and Gestalt Couple Therapy, to help our clients understand themselves and their partner better to address the following questions:

What are their habitual patterns and how does that hinder their relationship?

How can they deepen and heal their relationship?

What are the key ingredients for healthy intimacy?

What is the role of presence in sustaining loving relationship?

Begin with Individual Session  

An individual session in the beginning for each person to identify the issues and establish goals of the subsequent sessions. The need of couple sessions will depend on the outcome of the individual sessions.

Personality Test

Individuals are required to take a free online Enneagram personality test (both classical enneagram test & enneagram test with instinctual variant) and submit their test result in the “Schedule A Session” Form before coming for the fist session. The objective of the test is to identify the possible personality issues that individuals are facing in relationship difficulties.

Service Fee

Our service fee is a sliding scale based on individual’s or couple’s joint monthly income:

  • $100 per session for monthly joint income of $2500 and above
  • $50 per session for monthly joint income below $2500
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EPTP Intensive   Typing Process